100 Men vs. A Gorilla

The Internet loves its silly memes and in the last few weeks one that’s been going around is the question: could 100 men beat a gorilla in a fight?

This hypothetical is, of course, badly under-specified. The answer would become quite obvious if the conditions were laid out. If the men (and the gorilla) all have guns or even spears, then of course the 100 men will win. It’s not even a question. Heck, even the ability to pick up sticks and rocks would guarantee a victory for the 100 men. Though there’s also the question: why are they fighting? There doesn’t seem to be anything in it for either of them and most people—and animals—prefer to avoid physical danger with no upside. And while you may be able to pay men to fight, you can’t pay a gorilla to fight. I suppose we just need to leave that question aside, even though it will be directly relevant to how hard each group will fight and how likely they are to just run away.

So what context would make the outcome less certain?

A featureless plain with a smooth, un-climable wall around it, I suppose.

So, if we assume that 100 men and a gorilla are fighting each other for no obvious reason but both are dedicated to the fight for some reason, and that they’re doing it in a featureless arena, somehow, it’s actually quite likely that the 100 men would win, though not as many people seem to imagine it.

For some reason, many people seem to think that the men would just all pile on top of the gorilla, will then be collectively overpowered or else smothered under their weight. And while this is not physically impossible, it’s not how social animals fight.

What would actually happen is that the men would form a circle around the gorilla, keeping their distance, and periodically one of the men behind the gorilla would run up, hit it in the back, then run away. Gorillas are powerful, but they’re not as agile as humans, especially on featureless terrain. The gorilla would, of course, turn around, and might give chase, but it probably wouldn’t give chase into the big group, since large groups are intimidating even if you’re individually more powerful. And even if the gorilla did, gorillas can’t outrun human beings who are running away—they’re not meaningfully faster and they’re not built for distance.

There’s another major advantage which the 100 men have, which is that they make for many potential threats for the gorilla to keep track of. Too many threats tends to paralyze the decision making process of animals—including humans. It’s why the best practice for rushing a gunman is for two people to do it at once. A single person rushing a gunman is fairly likely to get shot. Two people may well escape unscathed as the gunman gets paralyzed by trying to decide who to shoot first. This is why lion tamers famously held a chair up in front of the lion—the four legs of the chair were too many things which might possibly poke the lion for the lion to keep track of, and it would be paralyzed by indecision. This will make it far less likely the gorilla will successfully charge into the men and catch one.

Eventually, the gorilla will become tired and slow down. Then men will tire far less quickly, especially as they can rotate the tired people out to rest further away while the fresher ones harass the gorilla. At some point, probably hours into the combat, the gorilla will become so tired it will barely be able to move. Adrenaline only lasts so long. Eventually the men will overpower the completely exhausted gorilla and the combat will come to a very inglorious end, proving nothing of any practical value.


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